Saturday, October 16, 2010

repost: life in the gender funhouse

This is starting to be a long, strange trip. And unfun.
I'm feeling weird about not having pronouns,official bathrooms...about, well, being the T in LGBTIQ, the one *least* welcome at the party...
I almost came out to a friend, then backed off and lied about it...even though I'm sure he would have been fine with it-he's mostly straight, but wears more makeup than I do-goth makeup.

I am becoming more certain I'm right though(gulp).  I am androgyne, both male and female.

I don't know quite what to do about that...almost like I want to explode in a billion different directions at once when I think about the gender thing.

But at the same time, I like myself more. My self-confidence and decisiveness are growing. My male side, given acknolwedgement and welcome, is busy making myself right at home.
I desperately want what I consider to be an A/G haircut at the moment-I'm obsessing about it.  My muscles, given weights and protein supplements, are puffing up nicely.  My breasts are getting smaller as my weight drops into normal range.

Again with the feels like there isn't solid ground under my feet anymore.

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