Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Yesterday I said to someone, who was failing to get my point online, and acting douchy...I said our selves are a construct. A narrative we tell ourselves. 

You see...
On LSD over 10 years ago.. I saw myself as a blue sphere trapped in a hard matrix. Just a blue orb. That's it.

A narrative we tell ourselves.
It's not what we are.

And then I said to myself...”Holy shit.”

I watched this talk Thandie Newton gave, someone linked it...

And I guess those two pieces were in my mind.  But wanting to get this guy to realize what I was saying was going over his head...I made a connection.

Everything is a story I tell myself?
That sounds...right, but...really???

So, since I've been...obsessively trying to get over my crap childhood...I thought...What import is the abuse?'s a part of the narrative that is hidden. 

I respond to that interior programming unconsciously, because it's unconscious.  It means I'm not in control of the narrative. Instead of me being in charge of that narrative, I allow my angry, abusive parents of 30 years ago to steer.
What I've been trying to do is take over my own narrative. 

Create a self that is free

And what import are my alters? the parts of me that were spalled under stress? 
The kids all have their OWN narrative about how the world works, and who they are.

It's my job as host to put their narratives in a broader perspective for them...I get them to rewrite their own narratives.


Easier said than done, no?
Insight, what a trip it is.