Monday, April 11, 2011


Is handing another person the power to devastate you. You are utterly in that person's power to hurt. All they have to do is withdraw their affection, and if you love them, your whole world will go dead, dull, and pointless. It is making another person practically essential to you.

It terrifies the living fuck out of me at the same time as I can't help doing it.

I don't know why this is coming up for me so strongly right now...but it's part of what makes me want to end my marriage at times.
The depth of love I feel for my wife feels...too dangerous. She's too close. I feel too much love for her.
I'd be shattered if she went away.
Probably not healthy, but there it is.

Otherwise I'm crawling out of the bomb crater of last week's gods'awfulness, and I hope you're doing okay.

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